By Darby VanHoutan
Man it feels good to be back in LFK. I mean besides the studying we all put off, the overpriced food on campus and the hills that continually murder us physically and emotionally, there’s no place like college. WTF is happening everywhere else?
Although the attacks were all the way is Belgium, the entire world hurts along with Brussels. On Tuesday March 22 three suicide bombers detonated three bombs killing 31 people, along with themselves. Among the dead are 300 injured. Two of the attacks occurred at Brussels Airport in Zaventem, where 13 people died. Another 13 people were killed in the third attack at the Maelbeek/Maalbeek metro station in Brussels.
The terrorist group Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) has since claimed responsibility for the attacks. These terrorist attacks are the worst of their kind in Belgium history. Directly after the attacks, the Belgian government put the country on its highest national threat level. This closed the airport and halted all transit within the country. The government also declared a national 3-day state of mourning. I’m guessing the mourning will extend far past that.
Number 2 on Date 1
We’ve all had some pretty bad dates. One time I went on a first date and literally fell asleep in the middle of it, but I promise you that a woman who goes by the name of @_blotty (misunderstood worm) on Twitter has you and me topped. Oh, and the best part about it? She documented via Twitter the entire thing. On Monday (March 21) the misunderstood worm sent out the first tweet that said: “I have a story to tell. It is about my poop” and the rest is history, everyone. I’ll try to sum it up. She went out on a date with a guy she met at the grocery store (I know right?! People meet at a place other than Tinder?! I’m jealous too) and liked it so she went back to his place. She recognizes herself as a “confident, calm and self assured woman” so she poops in his bathroom. She then finds out the toilet doesn’t flush so she did what I’m guessing every self assured woman does…she wrapped the poop in toilet paper and put it in her purse. The date goes on and the poop stays in her purse. After he uses the bathroom later and she hears it flush she goes in again and flushes it. Miracles do happen everyone.
This story is told through a series of 18 hilarious tweets and has been picked up by outlets like MTV. Personally, I think this woman should win a Pulitzer prize for this story because it is gold. My personal favorite tweet was: “So that’s my story. A man, sat there telling me I’m the most amazing woman he’s ever met, not knowing, 10 feet away in my purse, was my poop”. Let’s hope he doesn’t have a Twitter, or a computer, or a television because if he does, then now he knows.
Why bathrooms are a hot topic right now
North Carolina signed a bill into action on Wednesday that blocks cities from allowing people who identify as transgender to use the gender bathroom that he or she identifies with, instead of the gender he or she was born with. (Pause here to literally vomit from people’s stupidity and close-mindedness) It’s called the Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act. In blatant terms, it bans people from using public bathrooms that do not correspond to their biological sex. It also makes it so that nondiscrimination legislation can’t be passed (this basically means that no organizations can try to pass things that will override the Public Facilities Privacy & Security Act. They are ensuring that people see it as a state law that can not be ignored.
A similar bill was introduced in Kansas as well, which would prohibit transgender students from using public restrooms of the gender they identify with. This bill is titled the Student Physical Privacy Act. Legislators are saying that by allowing transgender people to use the same bathroom as a non-transgender person, they are allowing the risk of both physical and psychological pain (pause here to vomit again). This bill will be voted on soon with only two weeks left in this session of legislature.
BREAKING NEWS: Transgender people deserve the same rights as homosexual people who deserve the same rights as heterosexual people who deserve the same rights as everyone else. With other states looking to follow in North Carolina’s footsteps, this issue of civil rights is sure to be paramount across the country.
Another reason to love Uber
I’m not going to lie, most of my experiences with Uber I don’t completely remember, but I am a very big fan of what they do, and what they do just got a little better. The company just created another app called UberEATS which is a full time food delivery service. I know. Trust me I know. Contain yourself though because it’s not everywhere just yet. It launched last week in Houston, Los Angeles, Toronto, San Francisco, and Toronto. Then earlier this week it was released in Atlanta, New York, Seattle, and Dallas. Basically, Uber will charge $4.99 for a delivery fee and then charge for how much gas, time, etc., which is very similar to what Uber currently offers. Companies sign up with UberEATS and then ~viola~ their food is available to be delivered to us peasants at anytime! Now we just need them to release it in Lawrence and we can blow more of our rent money!