She’s Just Not That Into You…Or Is She?

7.16.2014

By Emma McElhaney

George-Costanza

It’s a common trope — the clueless guy who doesn’t take any of the hints an interested girl is sending him, even when they’re in capital neon letters. Before she made it clear she was into him, Emily Pinkston struggled to snag her current boyfriend’s attention.

“I sat behind him in class, and after I decided I was interested in him, I tried multiple times to walk with him after class,” said Pinkston, a University of Kansas senior.

He would either leave the room immediately, giving her no chance to show interest, or he would be engrossed in a conversation with someone else and she “would have looked dumb waiting for him,” she said.

“I would also try to talk to him before class about homework or other stuff, but it rarely extended beyond homework chat,” Pinkston said. “Finally, one day he turned to me and started talking to me after class to ask about my plans.”

For many guys, reading into a situation is risky — what if she’s just being friendly? But missing an opportunity could be equally as disappointing.

Doug Lawson*, a KU sophomore, said body language, such as a girl touching your shoulder or hands or giving you playful pushes, are good indicators of interest.

“If she feels comfortable enough with you to touch you, that’s a pretty good sign,” Lawson said. “If she hangs around — spends a longer amount of time with you specifically — or goes out of her way to continue a conversation with you, then she’s probably into you.”

It may be tempting to overanalyze all the signs, like body language or text messages, searching for a clear and obvious green light. However, Daniel Packard, professional love coach and touring speaker, said this isn’t a useful strategy.

“Nobody’s smart enough to think their way to love,” Packard said. “It’s too complicated; people are crazy.”

Sometimes life is uncomfortable, Packard said. You may be waiting around forever for an explicit, “Yes, I’m interested.”

“Things take courage, and people try to avoid courage, to try to skip that step and think their way through,” Packard said. “Even if you know what to say or not to say, if you walk up to her with the approach of, ‘I have to get this right,’ you’ve already lost the battle.”

Packard suggests focusing less on the outcome. Don’t be so caught up in whether they give you a yes or a no.

“Make your measurement of success be how you showed up. Were you courageous? Did you take a risk? Did you own what you want? These things make you proud of you. Then, no matter what they say, you walk away from the interaction feeling better about yourself,” Packard said.

Putting yourself out there can be scary, but through trial and error, Lawson said, you eventually figure it out. And sometimes it just takes courage.

“If you’re interested, ask her out,” Packard said. “People say no for a million reasons and none of them have anything to do with your worth. Just go for it.”

 

*name changed

 

Edited by Hannah Swank

28 comments :

  • pay per day loans plan

    Woman of Alien

    Excellent get the job done you have got done, this great site is basically neat with superb information and facts. Time is God’s way of retaining all the things from happening simultaneously.

  • blog here

    Third Flower

    My wife and i are now delighted that Albert could execute his research as a result of the thoughts he had by way of your online page. It is actually now and again perplexing to just usually be giving away techniques which some individuals might have be…

  • locksmithing for dummies

    Whispering Misty

    So sorry you may pass up the workshop!

  • clicking here

    Third Flower

    My spouse and that i are already now delighted that Albert could carry out his research thanks to the thoughts he had through your web page. It truly is on occasion perplexing to simply constantly be making a gift of ways which lots of people could hav…

  • continue reading this

    The Ships’s Voyages

    I believe technological innovation just makes it even worse. Now there’s a channel to never treatment, now there will not likely be considered a opportunity for them to find.

  • electricians arlington tx

    The Silent Shard

    This may most likely be really useful for some of one’s work I decide to will not only with my web site but

  • alkaline water brands

    The Absent Game

    In between me and my husband we’ve owned additional MP3 gamers through the years than I can count, which includes Sansas, iRivers, iPods (typical & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few many years I’ve settled down to one line of gamers.

  • water ionizer pay plan loans

    Woman of Alien

    Great get the job done you’ve carried out, this great site is basically neat with amazing data. Time is God’s technique for trying to keep all the things from happening at once.

  • pay day loans

    The Absent Game

    Between me and my husband we’ve owned more MP3 gamers over the years than I can count, including Sansas, iRivers, iPods (traditional & touch), the Ibiza Rhapsody, etc. But, the last few decades I’ve settled down to one line of players.

  • water ionizer machines

    The Birch of the Shadow

    I think there might become a several duplicates, but an exceedingly handy list! I’ve tweeted this. A lot of thanks for sharing!

  • sms laan nu

    Woman of Alien

    Fantastic function you have carried out, this site is de facto interesting with superb details. Time is God’s way of trying to keep every thing from taking place at the same time.

  • car parking

    Thorn of Girl

    Very good details may be found on this online weblog.

  • laan penge nu 18 aar

    Whispering Misty

    So sorry you are going to skip the workshop!

  • parking

    The Birch of the Shadow

    I feel there may well become a several duplicates, but an exceedingly helpful list! I have tweeted this. Numerous thanks for sharing!

  • fue.mobi

    The Silent Shard

    This will likely almost certainly be really handy for many of one’s work I plan to do not only with my blog site but

  • hurtigt lan penge nu

    Whispering Misty

    So sorry you can expect to pass up the workshop!

  • DirectTV

    Woman of Alien

    Best operate you may have completed, this website is de facto awesome with fantastic data. Time is God’s way of retaining every little thing from taking place simultaneously.

  • tvpackages.net

    The Silent Shard

    This will likely be pretty beneficial for a few of one’s employment I decide to will not only with my blog but

  • enagic kangen water

    Healing’s Dragon

    to uncover issues to improve my internet site!I suppose its alright to help make usage of some of your ideas!!

  • kangen water

    Woman of Alien

    Fantastic perform you have got accomplished, this page is actually awesome with superb facts. Time is God’s means of preserving everything from occurring without delay.

  • best bottled water

    Healing’s Dragon

    to find difficulties to enhance my web site!I suppose its ok to produce use of a handful of of your ideas!!

  • alkaline water

    The Ships’s Voyages

    I believe technological know-how just can make it even worse. Now there’s a channel to by no means care, now there would not be a chance for them to discover.

  • watch movies online

    The Birch of the Shadow

    I think there might be a several duplicates, but an exceedingly useful checklist! I’ve tweeted this. Lots of thanks for sharing!

  • watch movies online free

    Souls in the Waves

    Very good Morning, I just stopped in to visit your website and believed I’d say I loved myself.

  • watch tv show episodes

    Healing’s Dragon

    to find problems to boost my web page!I suppose its alright to make use of a few of one’s ideas!!

  • watch movies online

    Third Flower

    My spouse and i happen to be now delighted that Albert could perform his scientific tests because of the strategies he had by way of your web content. It really is every now and then perplexing to just always be making a gift of techniques which a lot…

  • Blue Coaster33

    The Birch of the Shadow

    I believe there may well become a several duplicates, but an exceedingly handy list! I have tweeted this. A lot of thanks for sharing!