Playlist: The Spookiest Halloween Playlist of All Time!

10.27.2018

Not every hero wears capes, but every hero listens to spooky music during Halloween!
Graphic by Karsan Turner

Here at Style on the Hill, we’re always looking for new fashion trends, and there’s no better time to spot new trends than during Halloween. Look out your window and you’ll see a runway of the spookiest, scariest, and trendiest outfits of the year. While you’re spectating – or participating in – this Halloween’s costume runway, cue up our spooky Halloween playlist. For those of you looking to enjoy Halloween treats on a diet, our playlist is packed with over two hours of music that is guaranteed to scare the candy right out of you!

Enjoy your Halloween, boils and ghouls!

 

Heard on the Hill

10.22.2018

HOTH crop

  • “In 8th grade I had a girlfriend and touched her boobs and I was like ‘oh that’s weird.’”
  • “She’s so cute laying there spread-eagle.”
  • “You must incubate the butter for longer.”
  • Person 1: “I don’t even remember the last time I drank.”
    Person 2: “Didn’t you go to the Cave last night?”
    Person 1: “Yeah I got fucked up.”
  • “Let’s go find a pony.. and like, teach it how to barrel race.”
  • “Avril Lavigne had Lyme Disease, and now she’s a Christian artist.”
  • Person 1: “He’s cute but he’s no male model.”
    Person 2: “He is LITERALLY a male model.”
  • “Why am I always wet in Italian?”

 

5 Dirty Little Life Hacks you Wish you Learned at Orientation

10.19.2018

Photo by Logan Gossett. Modeled by Karsan Turner

Words by Karsan Turner

Every freshman’s first semester at KU is daunting. You signed up for every interesting club at KU during Hawk Week, but now you have to figure out how you’re going to fit a Quidditch match, rock climbing and rowing practice into the same day. You also think Watson’s the only library and that Anschutz is a Holocaust Museum — it happens to the best of us.

You’re paying top dollar to sit in those creaky desks, so you’re going to want to take advantage of everything KU has to offer. To help you achieve this, here are some dirty little secrets that will help you maximize your first semester.

  1. Learn Proper Dorm Etiquette

Did you know…?
a) The floor in the bathroom is meant for walking on and not puking on?

b) Using Axe body spray to mask the smell of weed in your dorm room makes your room smell like Axe body spray and weed?

c) Not everyone on your floor is majoring in “Being Loud as Crap at 1:00 A.M.” studies?

  1. You Can Cuss

That’s right! You’re no longer under the tyranny of Mommy and Daddy, so watching your language is off the roster. KU loves freedom of speech! Your friends cuss, your professors cuss, hell, even I cuss! In high school, you’d get in trouble for saying “piss,” but in college, “piss” comes out of our mouths more than it comes out of our pee-pees. Swear on, sailor!

  1.  The Underground Exists

Now that we know college is cool for cursers, it’s good to know they have a hip hidden cafe. I fucking went my whole goddamn first semester at KU not knowing about this place. I wasted so many trips to Oliver “Shit-Hole” Hall to microwave my reliable three-course meal of oatmeal, mac-n-cheese and a granola bar. Once I knew about this place I shit my pants because the Underground only has one bathroom stall.

  1. Learn to Walk

This grinds my fucking gears, man. I can’t tell you how many students I dodge walking to class who walk on the left side of the sidewalk. You wouldn’t drive into oncoming people, so don’t do it on the sidewalk with your fucking feet.

  1. You’re not Sponsored by KU, Stop Dressing Like It

This is past infuriating: it’s just sad. In college, you’re the hottest you’ll ever be, and you’re going to waste this window of hotness hoping your first Tinder hookup’s gonna take you back to his/her place and rip off your Jawhawk buddy system tee? And throw away your drawstring sports backpack, what are you going for a hike? Stop wearing athletic shorts — you’re not my Dad doing yard work. Wear non-cargo shorts or jeans like a fucking adult. Stop wearing graphic tees every day. If you’re wearing tees, keep it simple. And don’t even get me started on KU attire at KU. Okay, you got me started: STOP WEARING KU SHIT AT KU. WHAT FUCKING SCHOOL DO YOU GO TO? IS IT KU? I COULDN’T TELL BECAUSE YOU’RE ONLY AT KU WITH YOUR FUCKING KU SHIRT, SHORTS AND CRIMSON AND BLUE LANYARD FUUUUUUUUUCCCKK — excuse me.

Send a presidential alert to your family and tell them not to get you anything KU related, or, if they do, just give it to the trash can.

So there you have it, 5 tips for every KU freshman. If you follow these tips you will succeed in (a) not throwing up on the floor, (b) walking, and (c) dressing yourself.

 

Heard on the Hill

10.08.2018

HOTH crop

  • “It’s so heterosexual, ew.”
  • “You’re always looking out for my spider health.”
  • Person 1: “He wrote me a letter. It was really sweet.”
    Person 2: “They’re always sweet when they’re in jail.”
  • “Here’s what I want you to think about: incest.”
  • “Whats up Johnny bravo you dumb fuckin’ bitch.”
  • “There’s no positive spin on leprosy.”
  • “Let that marinate on them asses.”
  • “Well she was kinda hot but she looks like a hot retard.”
  • “I’m a wench. Like, a pirate whore.”
  • “I hope you can get pregnant cuz i ain’t doin’ it for you”

 

 

 

 

 

Trevor Noah Offered Fun Food For Thought at the Lied Center

10.01.2018

By Sydney Sheldon

While a small segment of the audience at Trevor Noah’s Lied Center show on Sept. 22 might not have known what they were walking into, for the most part, Noah gave a performance that was an ease for the audience of just under 2,000 to connect with while also providing a new way to understand some of the difficult social issues in the U.S. today.

Noah started his set by talking about his day in Lawrence and what he had learned about the University of Kansas. He spoke of the hilarity of four barber shops in a row but not one of them cutting black hair. Noah said he likes to do a little research about each place he visits, and upon researching Lawrence and KU he discovered that the university had a major role in the invention of basketball.

“Imagine trying to invent a sport,” Noah said. “Having to come up with all the rules and deciding what kind of equipment to use.” He spoke about his first time at a basketball game where he didn’t realize how many times in one game a team could score.

“They made their first basket and I was like ‘GOAAALLLLLLLLL’ little did I know, five seconds later there would be another, and another, and another. It is exhausting being a basketball fan.”

While talking about sports Noah seamlessly wove the topic of kneeling during the national anthem into the set. “If you’re going to kneel at any event [the anti-kneelers] would prefer you do it at an unpopular sport like rowing.”

This moved the set on to the inevitable Trump jokes and commentary. Noah spoke about his conflicting feelings towards the president, because on the one hand, he wakes up every day and is scared for his life, but on the other, he knows that Trump will somehow make him laugh at least once a day.

Noah left the audience with his observation that white people love boats, the idea of patriarchy as a hotline a man can call upon any time he feels, and the advice from his mother that when you experience racism all you have to do is “shake it up with the love of Jesus and throw it back at them.”

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