In observation of No-Shave November, it seems highly appropriate to acknowledge the growing (pun-intended) trend of men’s facial hair.
There is a clear divide between two types of people in this world: those who are Pro-Beard and those who are Beard Haters. I have witnessed both firsthand. Females who dwell among the Beard Haters usually pose complaints such as, “It’s scratchy, it’s too hipster, it looks unkempt.”
I, however, hold an unwavering Pro-Beard stance, as do many of my friends. So, guys, if you’re afraid your scruff may keep you from getting the ladies, don’t fret. There are plenty of beard-loving ladies in Lawrence.
That said, there are a few tips that guys should keep in mind about the mandatory maintenance of facial hair. Just simply growing a beard or mustache is not enough. You must groom and tame it. You must never, under any circumstances, leave the house looking like Tom Hanks in Castaway. No, no. There are guidelines, my friends:
#1) Symmetry is your friend. Nobody likes a wonky beard or mustache. Nobody.
#2) No one has to know but…be inspired by celeb styles. (Clearly not Brad Pitt)
#3) There is such a thing as “going too far”. Giant’s pitcher Brian Wilson, for example, started out with a glorious and ended up…Well, you see.
*Editors Note: Brian Wilson is a God. Go Giants! World Champs 2012, baby!
#4) Most importantly, wear your facial hair with confidence and pride. Own that manliness.