Heard on the Hill


HOTH crop

  • “I told Hillary Clinton ‘Happy Birthday’ before my sister”
  • “That sounds like a disease an Oompa Loompa would get.”
  • “Is Neil deGrasse Tyson the gay one from How I Met Your Mother?”
  • Person 1: “Wow, that’s a lot of money.”
  • Person 2: “Yeah, but not enough to buy a cousin.”
  • “She’s cute but that girl is a witch.”
  • “So, the gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian and damn do I need one of those.”
  • Second time I saw her she just sat on my lap and showed me her herpes.”
  • “I would get a Ph.D. in Hawk wristbands.”
  • “You have the Vineyard Vines app? What does it do? Tell you cool things to say?”
  • “I’m starting to think Trump’s pulling a fast one on us.”