Heard on the Hill



  • “I don’t know how to measure a cat’s feelings, but I do know how to measure its velocity if it is shot out of a cannon.”
  • “You know why y’all are different from when you were freshmen? Because then you were smiling and now y’all are like, ‘fuck my life.’”
  • “I lose a lot of things when I’m drunk. First of all, my dignity.”
  • “How do my professors expect me to study for any of my midterms when Fuller House is on Netflix?”
  • “I’ve had a PB and J sandwich everyday for 6 months now.”
  • “Dude, I could’ve slept with her, but wheel pizza sounded so much better. She was a legit two out of ten.”
  • “The saddest part about senior year is knowing in a couple of months I can’t be drunk almost everyday anymore.”
  • “If he didn’t hook up with all our friends, I would totally hook up with him.”
  • “That test was such bullshit…I didn’t buy the book or study but I didn’t think it would be that hard.”
  • “I figured out today that the yoga classes at the Rec don’t even check if you have a pass or not. But not even that is enough motivation to make me go.”
  • “If there’s frozen margaritas, we in this bitch!”