Heard on the Hill



  • “Honey, if someone with a beet face and wearing heels offers you a lava cake, you take it.”
  • “This bitch is making us read the salad of literature.”
    “Because salad is gross.”
  • We aren’t even a month into the semester and if I miss another spanish class I automatically fail the course. How legendary is that?”
  • “I may or may not of tried to grab her ass in the Hawk, and she may or may not of proceeded to spill her drink on me… purposely.”
  • “No, I’m not going to do cocaine on a Tuesday.”
  • “40 dollars to go to Taco Bell! I’m pumped!”
  • “I would sell the majority of my organs for Beyoncé tickets.”
  • Girl: “He said I’m classy.”
    Guy: “You haven’t told him about the time you drunkenly ate an old chicken strip off a random table at IHOP for money, have you?”
  • Girl 1: “I could do a triathlon.”
    Girl 2: “Yeah, me too, but I don’t know how to swim.”
  • “I’m going to keep saying it. Nipples, nipples, nipples.”​
  • “If I wanted to watch Kanye’s fashion show, I would go to the beach and watch driftwood.”