Heard on the Hill



  • “Is it a bad thing that I like this trash can more than most people? It’s just so metallic and personable.”
  • “You’d really need a shotgun to fuck up that pumpkin.”
  • “I’m starting my YouTube channel soon. You should star as my slutty girlfriend who comes on every so often.”
  • “I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get to the real world and I can’t take a nap every day.”
  • “College is mostly just sitting with a laptop in different places.”
  • ​”Welcome to rock bottom, I’ll be your tour guide.”
  • “I might need therapy to adjust back to real life after college.”
  • “I forgot that I was supposed to enroll today, so I might just drop out instead.”
  • “I didn’t know what Kansas was until like, junior year of high school.”
  • “She overdosed and then I texted her the next day asking if she knew where I could get drugs. Is that too aggressive?”
  • “In high school I would drink water everyday. Now being in college, I drink vodka.”