Entries Tagged as 'Life on the Hill'

Heard on the Hill


HOTH crop

  • “I don’t have any money so I straight up ate a napkin yesterday.”
  • “Dude I legit thought I had poop on my face.”
  • “I really really don’t wanna kill myself but what’s new.”
  • “I already know what my kids are going to look like because of Pinterest.”
  • “I just can’t commit to being lesbian.”
  • “On a scale of 1-Vermont street how fucked up are you?”
  • “If Lil Yachty goes out anywhere in Lawrence, he’s going to Tonic for sure.”
  • “All the costumes I want to be for Halloween require me to have no hair.”
  • “Don’t kill that bee, haven’t you seen Charolette’s Web?”
  • “But now that I know I’m not pregnant I’m a little sad.”


Toto, We Aren’t In High School Anymore: A Freshmen Survival Guide


Words by Maryclaire Ahlgren

Photos by Sam Blaufuss

KU Soph. Sheree Buchli, pictured above, regrets not exploring campus freshman year.

Being a freshman at any college is challenging, emotional and petrifying. My first day on campus, I was not ready for what was coming: invites to the Hawk, frat parties and hours of studying pointless shit. After multiple panic attacks, breakdowns and wanting to drop out before classes even begun, I thought it was time to set out on an adventure and ask some upperclassmen how the hell to do this thing called college.

I asked seven different former freshmen four questions:

  1. Breanna Edquist; Sophomore; General Studies Major
  2. Sheree Buchli; Sophomore; Biochemistry Major
  3. Haley Tinch; Senior; Speech/Language Hearing Major
  4. Malloy Allen; Junior; Business
  5. Anna Rocque; Sophomore; Pharmacy and Business Administration Double-Major
  6. Emily Jackson; Junior; Mechanical Engineering
  7. Brittney Paeth; Sophomore; Criminal Justice Major

Their answers were inspiring, entertaining, frightening and helpful.

What is the top thing you should avoid doing as a freshman?

  • Breanna: “Dressing up for class. No one gives a shit what you wear, this isn’t high school anymore.”
  • Sheree: “Thinking you’re alone going through something. There is someone else going through the same thing.”
  • Haley: “Being the one dumbass that won’t move to the back of the bus when it starts filling up. Just move so everyone can get on the bus and go home. Also, don’t say ‘does this bus go to Daisy Hill?’ when the sign on the bus clearly says ‘skips daisy hill.’”
  • Malloy: “Stop worrying about classes; you got three years left of that shit.”
  • Anna: “Wearing your lanyard around campus, especially if you are out and about at a drinking establishment.”
  • Emily: “As a freshman, avoid thinking you have all of the answers. Ask for help when you need it. Go to office hours or talk to your professors when you aren’t understanding something.”
  • Brittney: “Trusting anyone who’s nice to you. Just because they’re nice doesn’t mean they have the best intentions. Also can you put in here that Thomas is a lying pig? Thanks.”

What is something you wished you knew freshman year?

  • Breanna: “That switching your major one or even ten times is okay; your advisor doesn’t care. They just want you to be happy.”
  • Sheree: “All the possibilities and situations I’ll go through. I’m still trying to figure it all out.”
  • Haley: “How the hell to find my way around Wescoe.”
  • Malloy: “I wish I knew that the plugs were doing 10$ a g.”
  • Anna: “Probably how to utilize the bus system. It is beyond confusing. Or know that the term adulting is real life. Adulting is something everybody talks about but you really don’t know how it works, or how to address situations on your own as an ‘adult.’”
  • Emily: “I wish I knew how to manage my time better. Freshman year was very difficult for me because I continually procrastinated and never started my homework until the day before it was due.”
  • Brittney: “I wish I knew more about greek life and how big it is on campus.”

What is your biggest regret of freshman year?

  • Breanna: “Working too much and not making enough time to go see my friends at different universities.”
  • Sherree: “Not exploring KU, Lawrence and Kansas as much as I could have.”
  • Haley: “Not signing up to do more school and volunteer activities.”
  • Malloy: ”Not bringing my passport with me.”
  • Anna: “I like to say that I really don’t have regrets, but it probably has to be boom boom room situations or the dumb mistake of consuming the rest of the drink that was left out of my eyesight and quickly finding myself in the Lawrence Memorial Hospital emergency room.”
  • Emily: “My biggest regret of freshman year was not hanging out with friends and going to football games, and instead having my boyfriend visit almost every weekend.”
  • Brittney: “Having sex with guys that meant nothing to me. Should I name them?”

What was your best memory of freshman year?

For KU soph. Anna Rocque, pictured above, joining Sigma Delta Tau was the best decision of her freshman year.

  • Breanna: “When I realized that credits add up faster than expected, making the dream of graduating a reality.”
  • Sheree: “Having fun with the band at football games and other events.”
  • Haley: “It’s cheesy, but my best memory was falling in love with the classes I was taking that led me to declare my major in Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology.”
  • Malloy: “Doing pranks on campus.”
  • Anna: “My best memory from freshman year has to be joining an amazing group of women who are all united by the same values creating the sorority of Sigma Delta Tau. It was most definitely a life changing event that has shaped and developed me to the woman I am today.”
  • Emily: “My best memory from freshman year was salsa parties with the girls on my floor and finally feeling like I had real friends.”
  • Brittney: “Making it to the championship game. I don’t know, we are good at some sport right?”

Well freshmen, I think we got some good advice. Educate yourself about the opportunities around you, and realize that someone else is feeling the exact same way you are. Never go into any room called the “boom boom room.” Always choose fries before guys and bros before hoes. But most importantly, do what you love and don’t change that for anyone, and never go out with Thomas because he will lie to you.


Heard on the Hill


HOTH crop

  • “No no, 59 is the letter of love.”
  • “Thanks for blowing my vape on my fucking beautiful flowers, asshole.”
  • “Hold on I need to pause this pizza porn so we can listen to the Seinfeld theme.”
  • “That bitch is a drinkerrrr.”
  • “If Kylie is pregnant does that mean it’s cool to be pregnant now?”
  • “Hang on bitch I’m trying to figure out how to finsta.””
  • “I can’t wait to get a pumpkin spice latte and tweet about it.”
  • “I mean, she’s still sweet. She just does a lot of crack.”
  • “You called me a deaf motherfucker!? I didn’t even hear that.”
  • “I hope it’s loud at Live Music Tuesday so I can just fart.”


Let’s Get Ready To Bumble


Words and photos by Sam Blaufuss

Created in 2012 and exploding onto the media scene in 2015, the app known as Tinder revolutionized online dating by simplifying things down to a swipe of the finger. Its massive success (a tad greater than my personal success with it, but we’ll get to that) led to a multitude of copycat apps, including Bumble.

The details of Bumble’s creation set itself apart from its online dating competition. Its founder Whitney Wolfe was a co-founder of Tinder that left the company in 2012 following sexual assault charges she filed against other Tinder co-founders. Bumble is unique in that it fully shifts its controls over to the woman after a match — if both parties swipe right, the woman has 24 hours to initiate a conversation, or else the match disappears forever (in the event you match with someone of the same sex, this rule doesn’t apply.)

“In every situation, women are making the first move,” said Briauna Jurgensmeyer, KU’s Bumble Campus Ambassador.

Bumble is also not just limited to being an online dating app. Since its creation, the app has introduced a friend-finding feature, and an in-app professional networking platform is in the works. Riley Messina, another campus representative for Bumble, said that “Bumble is the Facebook for people you don’t know yet.”

These unconventional features may sound enticing to women considering the app, but for men like myself, Bumble may as well just be called Yellow Tinder.

I was initially excited as I read through about the way Bumble works. As a guy, so much is dependent on your opening message on Tinder. To have the pressure of that potential sweetheart not digging your carefully crafted name-related pun lifted off your shoulders sounded like a pretty great reason to download the app. As it turned out, doing less work doesn’t always pay.

In my experience, the problem with Bumble isn’t at all that women are afraid to message first; it’s that you hardly get any matches in the first place. Dating apps are all based on first impressions, and usually the first impression I get with women on Bumble is that they’re more than one year into college, have actual jobs, and might be seeking out a healthy relationship with someone that has their life together. Since this description does not fit me whatsoever, I feel like it may contribute to the desert that is my match queue. I’m sure there are other reasons for why my matches aren’t popping (upon completing this article I actually noticed that my profile stated that I’m still in high school, so there’s that.) Those are a few of the problems I noticed that are not nearly as common on Tinder, where I generally do okay.

Bumble’s purpose from what I can tell is to act as a version of Tinder where ladies don’t have to worry about their matches immediately sliding in unsettling and overtly sexual comments, and I fully respect that ideal. However, it has definitely led to much less interaction for me (maybe for the best). My only advice for any guys planning on putting their Bumble profiles together are this: Bumble is not the same playground as Tinder; you’ll have to behave a bit differently. Basically, if you make an overtly unsettling sexual comment, make sure it’s really solid.

Bumble Improves Women’s Self-Esteem

By Rebekah Swank

Although I am a little afraid of being judged, I’ll say it: I love Bumble.

I used to be an on-again-off-again Tinder user for several years. While studying abroad in Germany, I downloaded Tinder to learn more German slang. It worked pretty well, and I continued to use it every now and then when I came back to the U.S., but mostly for just for a good laugh. It was extremely entertaining; looking at all the kooks, weirdos and d-bags who put their best photos on an app to be seen by hundreds was a great way to make myself feel a little bit better about my own life. I matched with a few guys, chatted with a couple of them, but nothing ever came of it.

Tinder quickly became boring by the beginning of this school year. A friend told me about Bumble. “Oh yeah, the dudes are way hotter on Bumble,” she said. So I created an account and started swiping.

As much as I feel like an asshole for saying this, my friend was right. I didn’t run into nearly as many “I’m a practicing magician” bios, or photos of jabronis in flip flops and fedoras. Most of the men on Bumble seemed like real people I would run into on campus or around Lawrence.

However, the chatting aspect of Bumble still intimidated me. I am definitely not someone who initiates conversations with men whom I find attractive—not while I’m sober, anyway. The thought of typing out a flirty message and sending it off for another human to see was terrifying, but I did it. And I began doing it over and over again with each new connection I made. Eventually the sting of an ignored message faded, and I was able to simply have fun talking to new people.

Friends of mine who have used the app agree that women initiating contact is a nice change of pace.

“I think it’s interesting that the girls are the ones who have to message first because it forces you to put yourself out there and be confident,” my roommate said.

Since using Bumble, I have become much better at approaching others—men and women. I don’t have as much fear of rejection, and I have gotten more comfortable with being myself around people I don’t know. I’ve met several really nice guys through Bumble. I encourage women to try it out, even if they aren’t looking for a relationship or a hook up.

Heard on the Hill


HOTH crop

  • “Did you join that orgy in Wescoe this morning?”
  • “Piano is hot!”
  • “I take good drugs, but I don’t even like the good drugs.”
  • “So my bathroom smells like ACTUAL fish and seafood and I don’t know if it’s my pussy or Sydney’s.”
  • “Ah dude, it’s another straight sex scene. Can we skip it?”
  • “Mike Tyson is a pigeon cuckold.”
  • “He’s not sucking on a blunt; he’s sucking on a Bic.”
  • “The Japanese are very extra.”
  • “My high school diploma got burned in my first breakup.”
  • Person 1: “How do you fall in love in two weeks?”
    Person 2: “I don’t know, I’m fabulous.”


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