Entries Tagged as 'Heard on the Hill'

Heard on the Hill

11.24.2016

HOTH crop

  • “It’s the holiday season, of course I’m lit.”
  • Person 1: “I seriously have no time, I have to give up eating or sleeping.”
  • Person 2: “Because God knows you aren’t going to give up your knitting.”
  • “You don’t enjoy McDonald’s fries, you eat them until you hate yourself.”

  • “I don’t know how to say this, but you’re racist.”
  • “Fuck Marry Kill: Yoda, Jar Jar Binks, Anakin Skywalker with no legs.”
  • “Hufflepuff is the K State of the Hogwarts houses.”
  • “The harp if by far the hottest instrument.
  • *In reference to a puppy*
  • Person 1: “Why are you getting rid of him?
  • Person 2: “Oh, my 5-year-old daughter was just doing too much with him.”
  • “So, do you like have to chase the turkey first?”

Heard on the Hill

11.10.2016

HOTH crop

  • “How do I tell a boy that I care about KU basketball more than him?”
  • “Your slipping sounds like a dog is slurping.”
  • “There’s so much red. It’s like my period and I hate it.”
  • “He does meth; he doesn’t want vegetables.”
  • “Zombie movies are bad influence on people.”
  • “It’s Halloween, someone has to die.”
  • “I just want to tell him ‘Hey, you’re cool and all but we should just be friends so I can date your brother.’”
  • “Your penance is to say 7 Hail Mary’s and go to Burger Stand.”
  • “Call me…piglet.”
  • “Embryos are cool and stuff.”

Heard on the Hill

11.03.2016

HOTH crop

  • “In my opinion, few things match a nice circumcision.”
  • “Is it really a spooky day if you haven’t eaten an entire bag of salt and vinegar chips?”
  • “I got to ride in a Subaru today. It’s always a good day when you get to ride in a Subaru.”
  • “If I drove right now, I’d get a DUI.” (Heard at 11.39 AM)
  • “I’m so ugly, I’m leaving.”
  • “That’s just how I generally feel, not dead but crusty.”
  • “Fuck, I wanna be white trash.”
  • “Drink jumbo margarita like a dog.”
  • “I have $10 on my face right now, I am not sweating that shit off at the gym.”
  • “I don’t know why my mom is never excited when I meet boys.”

Heard on the Hill

10.27.2016

HOTH crop

  • “I told Hillary Clinton ‘Happy Birthday’ before my sister”
  • “That sounds like a disease an Oompa Loompa would get.”
  • “Is Neil deGrasse Tyson the gay one from How I Met Your Mother?”
  • Person 1: “Wow, that’s a lot of money.”
  • Person 2: “Yeah, but not enough to buy a cousin.”
  • “She’s cute but that girl is a witch.”
  • “So, the gender neutral term for sugar daddy is glucose guardian and damn do I need one of those.”
  • Second time I saw her she just sat on my lap and showed me her herpes.”
  • “I would get a Ph.D. in Hawk wristbands.”
  • “You have the Vineyard Vines app? What does it do? Tell you cool things to say?”
  • “I’m starting to think Trump’s pulling a fast one on us.”

Heard on the Hill

10.20.2016

HOTH crop

  • “After this day, I just want my crack pipe.”
  • “Fuck yeah, T-Mobile is my homie.”
  • “Hot chocolate is coffee, right?”
  • “I’m pissed off, I’m gonna get a granola bar.”
  • “Kansas football is like my sex life.”
  • “You even wonder what human would taste like?”
  • “We’re not in England right now, you can’t just say that!”
  • “Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!”
  • “I wish Clay Aiken still made music.”
  • “I love sturdy, hefty ginger men. It’s a fucking fetish.”
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