Entries Tagged as 'Heard on the Hill'

Heard on the Hill

4.12.2016

HOTH 2

  • “My roommate got a stripper pole, it’s really cute, but it’s hard.”
  • “Every weekend is a near death experience for me, I either wind up under a bush or in a tree.”
  • “There is always a fine line between something being reasonable and something being insane. I like to think I dance that line with the enchanted grace of a gazelle.”
  • Girl 1: “Did you guys hear about the new smart wall in the business school? It was a million dollars.”
    Girl 2: “Guess that’s where my tuition is going.”
  • “I got my security clearance for the White House, which I guess means that I’m not a security threat to the president of the United States. I should put that on my resume and maybe, then, I’ll finally get a job.”
  • ​”Just ordered Pickleman’s and Jimmy John’s. Whoever gets here faster gets this $5 tip.”
  • “Bury me with this outfit that I am wearing right now if I die today because I look cute as shit.”
  • “What’s the best way to tell your roommate you hate them?”
  • “What do his parents look like? Are they also potatoes?”
  • “This song fucks me up.”
  • “Sometimes you meet someone in a class and it’s like, ‘Wow, you’re such a cool person, we connect so well… But if you fuck up this group project, you’re dead to me.'”

Heard on the Hill

4.05.2016

HOTH 2

From #WifiApocalypse to April Fool’s Day, the SOTH spies heard it all last week (and we’re still laughing). Let the hilarity ensue!

  • “What the fuck am I supposed to do during class without wifi?”
  • “My boob sweat has been smelling like tacos lately and I don’t know why.”
  • Girl 1: “Since it’s April and I graduate next month, does that mean I can officially start drinking during the day?”
    Girl 2: “I’ve been day-drinking since the second day freshman year.”
  • “I’ve literally fallen for every April Fool’s joke on the Internet today…even the one about Donald Trump ending his candidacy. Although that one was just cruel.”
  • “When the internet went out I realized that’s more of a necessity to me than food.”
  • “I seriously couldn’t handle classes today with no wifi… what the hell are we supposed to do the whole time the teacher is lecturing?”
  • “How am I supposed to get anything done if I can’t play my Spotify playlist?”
  • “I don’t understand Kansas. She’s feeling great and sunny one day, then the next she’s crying her eyes out and freezing us. It must be that time of the month.”
  • “I was so blacked on Thursday night my friends had to stop me from stripping in the middle of Mass Street.”
  • “She’s doing cocaine even on a Tuesday night…. That’s when you know you have a problem. It’s totally okay if you only do it every once in awhile.”
  • “I feel like college is just a time to get all your slut out.”

Heard on the Hill

3.29.2016

HOTH 2

  • “I know I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about school over break but I couldn’t stop trying to calculate our car’s drag coefficient during the car ride.”
  • “I think we should take a shot for every point we missed on our midterm that we think we deserved.”
  • “This weekend will either be great or terrible. That’s the power of KU basketball.”
  • “She looks like a Honda Civic.”
  • “I am done! I’m done with your dick.”
  • “This is my first time being sexiled and I don’t even live here.”
  • “Have you ever tried to chug coffee? Don’t do it. I’ve tried it twice. One for the curiosity and other one because I missed my coffee.”
  • “They didn’t go out and observe things, they literally locked themselves in their basements on drugs and came up with them. Okay, maybe not drugs… but definitely alcohol.”
  • Guy: “I got denied at Red Lyon Tavern because my ID was ‘fake.’ I’m almost 23… assholes.”
  • Girl 1: “I’m just saying, she could use a boob job. Those things sag like no other…”
    Girl 2: “If that’s how they look now, imagine after a kid!”
  • “Didn’t realize I was addicted to coffee, until I didn’t drink it today and felt like I had the fucking flu.”

Heard on the Hill

3.22.2016

HOTH 2

Welcome back from Spring Break! We’ve heard some pretty hilarious things while we were away, and even in the short time we’ve been back. The rest of the semester is bound to have some quote-worthy phrases, so stick around. The SOTH spies are still listening!

  • “The only people that study political philosophy are sadomasochists.”
  • “My notes appear to be written on the back of a cereal box but I assure you they are not.” (they were)​
  • “I’ve only had…um, I’m not sure how many drinks I’ve had. 7? 3?”
  • “I haven’t had sex in three weeks…I didn’t have any during Spring Break, isn’t that so sad?”
  • “My friend got offered to shoot porn for $4,000, but turned it down because she was afraid that her 16-year-old brother might see it.”
  • “I refuse to look up from my phone on campus in case I see someone I may have made out with.”
  • “I hate when people tell me what I do when I’m blacked out. Clearly you didn’t drink enough if you remember what I was doing.”
  • “Do you have any self respect?”
  • “I’m honestly scared for myself in Cabo. Don’t let me do anything stupid.”
  • “I woke up with a pool of sweat between my boobs.”
  • Guy: “Milkshakes are the way to my heart… But only vanilla, ONLY vanilla.”
  • “I need to eat a light dinner so I can stay drunk.”

Heard on the Hill

3.08.2016

HOTH 2

  • “I don’t know how to measure a cat’s feelings, but I do know how to measure its velocity if it is shot out of a cannon.”
  • “You know why y’all are different from when you were freshmen? Because then you were smiling and now y’all are like, ‘fuck my life.’”
  • “I lose a lot of things when I’m drunk. First of all, my dignity.”
  • “How do my professors expect me to study for any of my midterms when Fuller House is on Netflix?”
  • “I’ve had a PB and J sandwich everyday for 6 months now.”
  • “Dude, I could’ve slept with her, but wheel pizza sounded so much better. She was a legit two out of ten.”
  • “The saddest part about senior year is knowing in a couple of months I can’t be drunk almost everyday anymore.”
  • “If he didn’t hook up with all our friends, I would totally hook up with him.”
  • “That test was such bullshit…I didn’t buy the book or study but I didn’t think it would be that hard.”
  • “I figured out today that the yoga classes at the Rec don’t even check if you have a pass or not. But not even that is enough motivation to make me go.”
  • “If there’s frozen margaritas, we in this bitch!”

Heard on the Hill

3.01.2016

HOTH 2

The SOTH spies are listening to your funny, misheard and completely out of context quotes! We’ve gathered our favorite hilarious snippets this week.

  • Guy: I’m going on twenty-one hours of without sleep. Adderall is impressive, man.
  • “You’re too pretty to be worried about global warming.”
  • “I just want some authentic Italian cuisine, like Cici’s Pizza.”
  • “I’m liberal now, but to be honest when I get out of college and actually make money I’ll probably swing conservative.”
  • “I wish I could skip Monday through Wednesday of every week, and only live through the drunk parts of my life.”
  • “If I could marry a fabric, it’d be chiffon.”
  • Girl: “Remember that character in ‘Holes’ that paints rattlesnake venom into her nail polish and then scratches people so they die? That’s going to be me.”
  • Guy: “That dog looks like my sister…in the best way possible.”
  • “I always see the same guy in the library whenever I pull all-nighters and I’ve never spoken to him but I’ve never felt closer to anyone else.”
  • “I think I wanna make out with a rando tonight.”
  • “I stepped outside and my nipples exploded.”

Heard on the Hill

2.23.2016

HOTH 2
Another week, another collection of hilarious out-of-context quotes on the hill.

  • “It’s 70. We’re drinking.”
  • “Those kids in the tour groups only see the bright side of college. They don’t see the dark side, which is very, very bad.”
  • “Youtube is a gift from God, man.”
  • “She’s hot but she’s not hot enough to be that fucking crazy.”
  • “You can accidentally make a person but you can’t accidentally make a pizza.”
  • “It was the best weekend of my life, I mean I was blacked out but still it was the best weekend of all time.”
  • “I just wanna cover someone in applesauce.”
  • “I took an Uber two blocks because my ass is not walking in -20 degree weather. I need a solid beer blanket for that shit.”
  • “Honestly, if I had a car, I would just go to IHOP alone.”
  • “Honestly, I’ve just been using Tinder for fantasy basketball advice.”
  • “The only good thing about K-State is when it turns green for Fake Patty’s.”
  • Person 1: “Remember the last time we drank in here?”
    Person 2: “Yeah, I lost my virginity.”

Don’t forget: you can tell us the crazy things you hear on campus and around town, too! Drop us a line on Facebook or Twitter – @styleonthehill

Heard on the Hill

2.16.2016

HOTH 2

  • “Honey, if someone with a beet face and wearing heels offers you a lava cake, you take it.”
  • “This bitch is making us read the salad of literature.”
    “What?”
    “Because salad is gross.”
  • We aren’t even a month into the semester and if I miss another spanish class I automatically fail the course. How legendary is that?”
  • “I may or may not of tried to grab her ass in the Hawk, and she may or may not of proceeded to spill her drink on me… purposely.”
  • “No, I’m not going to do cocaine on a Tuesday.”
  • “40 dollars to go to Taco Bell! I’m pumped!”
  • “I would sell the majority of my organs for Beyoncé tickets.”
  • Girl: “He said I’m classy.”
    Guy: “You haven’t told him about the time you drunkenly ate an old chicken strip off a random table at IHOP for money, have you?”
  • Girl 1: “I could do a triathlon.”
    Girl 2: “Yeah, me too, but I don’t know how to swim.”
  • “I’m going to keep saying it. Nipples, nipples, nipples.”​
  • “If I wanted to watch Kanye’s fashion show, I would go to the beach and watch driftwood.”

Heard on the Hill

2.09.2016

HOTH 2

It’s Tuesday, which means another round of #HOTH. Have a laugh below!

  • “I think I’m still high from last night, these numbers don’t look right.”
  • Guy 1: “My rock class kinda sucks though.”
    Guy 2: “Rock class?”
    Guy 1: “I think it’s technically called geology or something.”
  • “Everyone’s talking about all the cute things they’re going to do on Valentine’s Day and all I want is for someone to buy me a taco.”
  • Guy: “Are you drunk?”
    Girl: “I don’t know but I can’t feel my mouth and I think someone put my feet on backwards.”
  • Guy: “There’s a lot of things I would give up to have Wayne Selden’s eyes. A LOT.”
  • Girl 1: “My TA is only a year older than me, but he’s hot… I NEED to tap that”
    Girl 2: “Talk about an easy A.”
  • “All I’m saying is that if I had Kim Kardashian’s ass, big things would happen for me… No pun intended.”
  • The worst building in my opinion is the military science building. It smells like Blockbuster.”
  • “I was rolling on Molly all night. I highly recommend it. If there was one drug I recommend you take, it’s Molly.”

Heard on the Hill

2.02.2016

HOTH 2

The SOTH spies are listening! A new semester means all-new hilarious snippets of random conversations we hear on the hill. These are some of our favorite out of context, inappropriate, and just plain funny quotes from the past week. Got one to share? Drop us a line on social media and be sure to tag @styleonthehill

  • “This pizza was a better investment than my textbooks.”
  • “Can we uber to class?”
  • Girl 1: “I haven’t been the the Hawk since Sophomore year.”
    Girl 2: “Where else do you get ass?”
  • “You guys, this is weird. I think we should all stop doing kegels at the same time.”
  • “Honestly, the best way to save the world is to be vegan.”
  • “It’s because we are too intimidating, that’s why we can’t find boyfriends.”
  • “If you like eating food and listening to jazz music surrounded by dead people, this place is for you.”
  • Guy 1 : “I don’t know why she expects me to text her back after what happened.”
    Guy 2: “Dude! She slept with your friend and then got mad at you about it. Safe to say you dodged the psycho bullet.”
  • “She looks like the type of girl that does Coke.”
  • “On Sunday I ate Chipotle. On Monday I had E. Coli. It was coming out of both ends.”
  • Girl 1: “Last night was horrible. I’m never drinking again.”
    Girl 2: “You said that three days ago.”

Heard on the Hill

12.08.2015

HOTH 2

It’s the final #HOTH of the semester, guys! Here are a few last laughs to get you through our last week of actual classes (We threw in a couple extra good ones). Good luck on finals next week! And if you need some chill tunes to keep you motivated while you study, don’t forget to check out our latest Spotify playlist. 

  • Girl: “My idiot ex just bought melatonin off of me instead of adderall. I hope he fails every final.”
  • Guy: “I’m going to a Star Wars movie marathon the day it comes out. It starts at 1 am the night before and then the new one comes out at 7 Thursday night. I already know it’s going to be the best 24 hours of my entire life.”
  • “That’s my goal in life. Not to be successful, but to be friends with successful people.”
  • “My new thing I’m looking for in a boyfriend is rich and comatose so I don’t have to talk to him and I can spend his money.”
  • I’ve taken enough DayQuil for an entire army but we aren’t missing senior night.”
  • “He was like ‘let’s go on a date’ and I said ‘dear god no.’ Was that too harsh?”
  • “My boobs didn’t grow in until my sophomore year of college, so there’s that.”
  • “I can’t get this guy out of my head, like ever since I saw him last…hey are those chips?”
  • Girl: “The most applicable study tip I read today was, ‘laminate your study guides so the tears roll off.'”
  • “I used to not like cilantro, but then I became an adult.”
  • Girl: “Like what the fuck did I worry about in high school? My job?”
  • Girl 2: “You couldn’t even drive there! You weren’t even a real human!”
  • “I’m taking this class for pass fail so I don’t give a fuuuuck!”

Heard on the Hill

11.24.2015

HOTH 2

  • “The best part about going home to Colorado for Thanksgiving break is that I can smoke weed right after I eat.”
  • “I’ll pretty much do anything for a quick 20 bucks.”
  • “Grades are important, but if you cheat someone will die.”
  • Guy #1: “Five Guys is pretty steak-and-potatoes: boring.”
    Guy #2: “But it’s still good.”
    Guy #1: “So let’s go ALL the time then!”
    Guy #2: “Serious, selection is not important when it’s that good.”
  • “It seriously didn’t work? Well, fuck me sideways…”
  • “I just want to get hit by a car. Because either I won’t have to deal with shit anymore or I’ll just be injured and I’ll make bank.”
  • “I was peeing my pants on stage when I was singing karaoke but I just kept going for my fans.”
  • “Yeah I made out with him for a while because he was nice. I like to think I’m pretty polite.”
  • Girl 1: “Let me drive you, it’s dark.”
    Girl 2: “No, I’m going to do a light sprint. Plus if I die you can have all of my things. Even the $10 in my bank account.”
  • “We need to start being aware of more shit, you know?”

Heard on the Hill

11.17.2015

HOTH 2

  • *Student on the phone*: “Yes mom, I’m studying for my tests. Okay, I will talk to you later.”
    *Turns to friend beside him*: “So how much are you selling the Adderall for?
  • “All I remember is my flask hitting the concrete and that’s when I came to.”
  • “Whatever, I don’t give a shit about him anymore. I hope he dies alone with his stupid man bun.”
  • Girl: “How old do you have to be to sign up for farmersonly.com? I’m getting desperate for a formal date.”
  • “I said, ‘did you smell my armpits?’ They smell like margaritas.”
  • “I can’t wake up this early anymore.”
  • “Poets probably hate it when we interpret their poems wrong. They’re probably like, ‘stop interpreting my flowers as vaginas.’”
  • “I’m so confused. More and more everyday.”
  • “I was like, ‘I’m either going to punch him in the face or flick him.’ So I flicked him like seven or eight times.”
  • “I’m so poor I had scrambled eggs and wine for dinner last night.”

Heard on the Hill

11.10.2015

HOTH 2

  • ​”Steak and Shake was a better decision than hooking up last night.”
  • “I just found out my dog is 5 pounds overweight. Now I’ll probably have fat children and a fat husband too. I’ll just have a reality show called ‘My Fat Life.'”
  • Girl: “Do you think you’ll get married after you graduate?”
    Friend: “Absolutely not, but he’s a great lay for senior year.”
  • Girl 1:”Does he like, say words?”
    Girl 2: “Yeah, I think he does, but he just doesn’t know a lot of them.”
  • ​”Animal crackers are weird because it’s like are they sweet or savory?”
  • “I just cried to my dad on the phone for hours because he keeps asking me what I’m doing after graduation.”
  • “Anthony Bourdain. That man could write a novel about a flip flop and I would read it.”
  • Girl: “I don’t want to gross you out, but I was totally throwing up all morning.”
  • “I’ve been thinking I should share something controversial on Facebook soon.”
  • Professor: “How many of you travel?”
    *Nobody raises their hand*
     Professor: “You guys don’t travel? What’s wrong with you guys?”
     Student: “Um, we’re broke college kids struggling to pay rent.”

Heard on the Hill

11.03.2015

HOTH 2

  • “Taste that Kansas City cock in your mouth New York. It tastes like barbecue.”
  • “Who needs sleep when you can overdose on coffee?”
  • “She’s kind of cute I guess if you’re into trolly bitches.”
  • Girl: “My blood’s pumping beer at this point.”
    Guy: “Isn’t that a normal thing?”
    Girl: “It has been since last night.”​
  • “Of course they bring out brownies on day 1 of my diet.”
  • “I feel like you would have fun in a room by yourself.”
  • “I need four shots of Crown and four shots of something free.”
  • “We don’t give out free shots…”
  • “Acid, man.”
  • “These squirrels are way too fucking comfortable. At this point I could bend over and pet one.”
  • “Oh, I’m getting stressed, time to take my shirt off.”
  • “Freshmen keep you young.”

Heard on the Hill

10.27.2015

HOTH 2

  • “Is it a bad thing that I like this trash can more than most people? It’s just so metallic and personable.”
  • “You’d really need a shotgun to fuck up that pumpkin.”
  • “I’m starting my YouTube channel soon. You should star as my slutty girlfriend who comes on every so often.”
  • “I don’t know what I’m going to do when I get to the real world and I can’t take a nap every day.”
  • “College is mostly just sitting with a laptop in different places.”
  • ​”Welcome to rock bottom, I’ll be your tour guide.”
  • “I might need therapy to adjust back to real life after college.”
  • “I forgot that I was supposed to enroll today, so I might just drop out instead.”
  • “I didn’t know what Kansas was until like, junior year of high school.”
  • “She overdosed and then I texted her the next day asking if she knew where I could get drugs. Is that too aggressive?”
  • “In high school I would drink water everyday. Now being in college, I drink vodka.”

Heard on the Hill

10.20.2015

HOTH 2

  • Girl: “Don’t let me do anything stupid in Vegas this weekend.”
    Friend: “Define ‘stupid.'”
    Girl: “Like, don’t let me make out with anyone. At max, heavy groping.”
  • “My family keeps asking me what I’m going to do with my life and, you know, I really just haven’t been able to give them an answer. It’s been years.”
  • Girl 1: “I don’t think I filed my taxes.”
    Girl 2: “You’re parents probably did.”
    Girl 1: “Good, I’m not made for prison.”
  • “I just killed all the fucking spiders. You don’t want to fuck with me right now.”​
  • Girl: “In 2011, I won prom queen and had the most volunteer hours and read every Harry Potter book.”
    Friend: “God I would have hated you in high school.”
  • “Man, it’s hard being ugly.”
  • “I made my best Jim Halpert face at an imaginary camera when I saw her walk into the class.”
  • Guy #1: “Ready to kill arms today?”
    Guy #2: “Hell yeah bro, the curl room’s callin’ our name!”
  • “Yeah I didn’t go to bible study last night because Scandal was on….priorities…I’ll probably go to Hell because of it.”
  • Girl: “How was class today?”
    Guy: “I had a pretty solid class today; I got two girls’ numbers so I’d say it went well.”

Heard on the Hill

10.14.2015

HOTH 2

  • Girl: “What’s Late Night and why do I care?”
    Guy: “You really don’t know what Late Night is?”
    Girl: “Is it a Christian thing? Because I don’t need that thrown at me.”
  • “I was raised on white bread and passive aggression.”
  • “Wait. So you mean to tell me Andrew Wiggins doesn’t play here anymore?”
    “Dude. Where have you been?”
  • ​”I just want a sandwich without the bread.”
    “You mean a salad?”
  • “Whenever I meet new people I always blackout for the .5 seconds they’re telling me their name.”
  • “We’ve turned competitive cooking shows on Food Network into drinking games, and that’s how I know my life is in a downward spiral.”
  • Boy: “That girl is so sexy. I’d hook up with her.”
    Girl: “I’d hook up with her too.”
  • “I’m actually from Michigan.”
    “Oh is that in Wisconsin?”
  • “We’re ubering—I don’t walk.”
  • “Do you think people can tell I’m only at the gym to look at hot guys?”

 

Heard on the Hill

10.06.2015

HOTH 2

  • “I put a bunch of shit from the fridge in a pan and called it a surprise dinner for my friends. Two of them threw up.”
  • “The other day I was thinking about what it would be like to be a trophy husband. I would probably just dick around all day at the house and then get a personal trainer.”
  • “There I was, stuck in the Port-a-Potty in the park with nothing to wipe my ass with but sheets of notebook paper from my backpack.” ​
  • “Can we get 30 shots of whatever?”
  • (At Mrs. E’s Dining Hall) “KU has money for all this construction but still feeds us chicken fingers every day.”
  • “Mom, I’m in the bathroom…Can I call you back?… No…I didn’t sleep with him.”
  • “Are they trying to make us guess if they have pants on?”
  • “After she let her bare feet touch the floor in the Boom Boom Room, I wanted to call her and tell her to go to the doctor’s and get a shot.”
  • “The person you’re boinking at 21 isn’t probably going to be the same person you’re boinking at 85.”
  • Guy: “The first song played on KJHK was The Star Spangled Banner.”
    Friend: “Ew, that’s so Republican.”
    Guy: “That’s the best compliment you could have given us.”

Heard on the Hill

9.29.2015

HOTH 2

  • “It’s Tuesday and, I mean, I’m down to get hammered.”
  • Guy 1: “I literally fucking hate this next class.”
    Guy 2: “Dude then don’t go.”
    Guy 1: ” You’re right.” (He turned around and walked home.)
  • “The only ginger I like is Prince Harry. Unless you have a title, don’t talk to me.”
  • I once went like two weeks without Starbucks and almost DIED!”
  • “There’s no way he has a real job. He spends 3/4ths of his day with his shirt off and when he’s not chugging iced coffee it’s tequila.”
  • “You just drew dicks on Hiroshima. Shut the fuck up.”
  • In the Watson stacks:
    Girl 1: “I’ve had sex in here before”
    Girl 2: “Oh my god same.”
  • “Sorry, it’s been a weird day. My friend thought he got his car stolen this morning, but it turns out he just left it at Watson.”
  • ​”I hate job applications. I just want to move to a vineyard in Italy.”
  • “You could hand me an Android that would give me a blowjob and I’d still use Apple.”

 

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