Entries Tagged as 'Heard on the Hill'

Heard on the Hill

9.24.2017

HOTH crop

  • “Did you join that orgy in Wescoe this morning?”
  • “Piano is hot!”
  • “I take good drugs, but I don’t even like the good drugs.”
  • “So my bathroom smells like ACTUAL fish and seafood and I don’t know if it’s my pussy or Sydney’s.”
  • “Ah dude, it’s another straight sex scene. Can we skip it?”
  • “Mike Tyson is a pigeon cuckold.”
  • “He’s not sucking on a blunt; he’s sucking on a Bic.”
  • “The Japanese are very extra.”
  • “My high school diploma got burned in my first breakup.”
  • Person 1: “How do you fall in love in two weeks?”
    Person 2: “I don’t know, I’m fabulous.”

 

Heard on the Hill

9.17.2017

HOTH crop

  • “Spring door stops have the best comedic timing.”
  • “I’m like never at the union, so I never get condoms!.”
  • “I’m just like, not really the college kind of guy!” – a guy, at college
  • “I hate going out with Emily because Emily has boobs!”
  • “If you black out before Emo Nite, you get to meet some very nice paramedics.”
  • “Mom please just take my picture with NO flash. It’s for my fake ID.”
  • “Why are there no Groupons for the Hawk?”
  • “The only reason I stopped masturbating is so that I could get up in the morning and make coffee.”
  • “Skate fast, eat ass.”

 

Heard on the Hill

5.04.2017

HOTH crop

  • “I’m like espresso. I’m hot and bitter.”
  • “I wish kisses had caffeine, except then I’d be up all night.”
  • “EXCUSE ME, I have a shoebox full of frozens!”
  • “I’m metamorphosing into the most beautiful gay butterfly.”
  • “Yesterday at Arby’s…”
  • “Come to the wings and bingo thing with me…you vegetarian!”
  • “I’m gonna drink this wine out of the bottle because I’m troubled”
  • “Omg can I smoke with someone please? I’ll pay you I swear.”
  • “I wasn’t blacked out but it was a very dark shade of brown.”

Head on the Hill

4.20.2017

HOTH crop

  • “He sounds like he has a cat up his nose.”
  • Person 1:”Stop singing about president Putin!”
  • Person 2:”But he’s my best friend.”
  • Person 1:”Shut the fuck up”
  • “Do I need to know his name? No. I just need to know his body.
  • Person 1:”I’m just endlessly eating food, I need help.”
    Person 2:”NO you need sustenance.”
    Person 1:”Damn you’re right, I can’t argue with that logic.”
  • Person 1:”Guys, Mahershala Ali was the first Muslim to win an Oscar!”
    Person 2: “Wait, I thought he was black.”
  • “Your uterus is probably like Chernobyl.”
  • Person 1: “Who even invented tequila?”
    Person 2: “Someone who wanted to see the world burn.”
  • “What is it with white people and not staying with the stove?”
  • “I clock in, take a nap, go to the wheel, and then clock out.”
  • “I just remembered my grandmother uses Royal Crown as mouthwash.”

Heard on the Hill

4.06.2017

HOTH crop

  • Person 1: “So Tu served you at Dunkin’?”
  • Person 2: “What are you talking about, speak English.”
  • Person 1: “I can’t, he’s Vietnamese.”
  • “I think Great Britain is an anarchy. Maybe.”
  • “Dude I can’t even name five condiments.”
  • “I’m so high. At this right I’m never gonna have downs.”
  • “I smell like dirty clothes and baked potatoes.”
  • “Treating a nature valley bar like an ice cream cone does nothing for me.”
  • Person 1: “What did you do for Spring Break?”
  • Person 2: “Climb a mountain.”
  • Person 1: “Which one?”
  • Person 2: “Uh, I forgot the name of it.”
  • ” ‘Death by cheese’ the best way to go out.”
  • “Lasagna is a great pasta but a shitty horse.”
  • Person 1: “What’s your fetish?”
  • Person 2: “Respecting women.”
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