Entries Tagged as 'Heard on the Hill'

Heard on the Hill

10.22.2018

HOTH crop

  • “In 8th grade I had a girlfriend and touched her boobs and I was like ‘oh that’s weird.’”
  • “She’s so cute laying there spread-eagle.”
  • “You must incubate the butter for longer.”
  • Person 1: “I don’t even remember the last time I drank.”
    Person 2: “Didn’t you go to the Cave last night?”
    Person 1: “Yeah I got fucked up.”
  • “Let’s go find a pony.. and like, teach it how to barrel race.”
  • “Avril Lavigne had Lyme Disease, and now she’s a Christian artist.”
  • Person 1: “He’s cute but he’s no male model.”
    Person 2: “He is LITERALLY a male model.”
  • “Why am I always wet in Italian?”

 

Heard on the Hill

10.08.2018

HOTH crop

  • “It’s so heterosexual, ew.”
  • “You’re always looking out for my spider health.”
  • Person 1: “He wrote me a letter. It was really sweet.”
    Person 2: “They’re always sweet when they’re in jail.”
  • “Here’s what I want you to think about: incest.”
  • “Whats up Johnny bravo you dumb fuckin’ bitch.”
  • “There’s no positive spin on leprosy.”
  • “Let that marinate on them asses.”
  • “Well she was kinda hot but she looks like a hot retard.”
  • “I’m a wench. Like, a pirate whore.”
  • “I hope you can get pregnant cuz i ain’t doin’ it for you”

 

 

 

 

 

Heard on the Hill

9.24.2018

HOTH crop

  • “Barron Trump’s not autistic he’s just a time traveler.”
  • “I’ve had microwaves and toasters mixed up my whole life.”
  • “I’m not doing much today, just Saran wrapping a car.”
  • “I still need 17 more shots to be where I wanna be.”
  • “Yeah, I had sex in a port-a-potty.”
  • “I’m pretty sure forking is sexual.”
  • “It smells like death is coming out of me.”
  • “I have some virginities I need to take.”

 

Heard on the Hill

9.16.2018

HOTH crop

  • “I’m not trying to suck your dick, I need help!”
  • “I think both sides of my brain start working when I do that and it hurts.”
  • “How did I wear cashmere?!”
  • “You are so cum-focused.”
  • “I love big noses.”
  • “Okay so you, me and Allie are the prostitutes?”
  • “Honestly if my body looked like that I’d be a mean bitch too.”
  • “Theoretically, I love operas but I just can’t get on board for this.”
  • “Should I hot-box the elevator, dude? hahahahha”
  • “Ooo man buns are hooottt!”

 

Heard on the Hill

5.06.2018

HOTH crop

  • “Dora the Explorer’s not a soap opera?”
  • “Why do you need condoms when you have Yu-Gi-Oh cards?”
  • “Classes are canceled again today and my ass is extremely saved”
  • “And then it’s probably going to end with the money shot with people tasting it.”
  • “Does anyone else think this doorknob looks like the Haunted Mansion in Disneyworld?!”
  • Person 1: “Bro I’m so hyped for BLT’s today.”
    Person 2: “Bro me too! Wait, BDSM is for lunch?”
    Person 1: “No bro, BLT.”
    Person 2: “Oh… do u guys like BDSM?”
    Person 1: “Nah bro, i just like missionary.”
  • “If he wasn’t looking so desperately for something to love him, he’d be a great time.”
  • “My dad was a pipe organ major in college.”
  • “Is North Korea the country that likes anime?”
  • “I’m so pissed I could shit myself.”

 

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