Entries Tagged as 'Heard on the Hill'

Heard on the Hill

11.20.2017

HOTH crop

  • “I’m a wolf in sheep’s clothing. I’m not a lady, I’m a fucking jackass.”
  • “I can’t believe you fucked 3 people last night, I fucked 7 in the last hour!”
  • “Well we’re not autistic so…”
  • “If you need any help with that erection, you can go fuck yourself.”
  • “It’s gay to have a loving father”
  • “Hold on, let me look up my ex’s SoundCloud page”
  • “Yeah we have the same insurance, so like, we’re perfect for each other. Matching credit cards and everything.”
  • “At least I️ got my family and Post Malone.”
  • “On a scale of 1-10 how bad is it that this is my first time going to this class all year..?”
  • “Yeah I came out yellow and cone-headed.”

 

Heard on the Hill

11.09.2017

HOTH crop

  • “Punch me in the fucking face, I’ll enjoy it.”
  • “And then I thought, ‘Do I really want someone with adult braces to cut my bangs?’”
  • Person 1: “I’m gonna do something really crazy tonight”
    Person 2: “Like fall asleep?”
  • “Was he saying he was gonna fuck his own dog or gonna fuck max’s dog?”
  • “My dad is a dog.”
  • “…yeah the Bill of Rights is canon.”
  • “I played with my family, so I guess I’m a slut too.”
  • “I just walked in and there was my mom’s boyfriend wearing my Uggs.”
  • “All of his friends hate the same people and FUCK the same people.”
  • “He’s in a Smash Bros league and I was like, that’s hot.”

 

Heard on the Hill

10.16.2017

HOTH crop

  • “I don’t have any money so I straight up ate a napkin yesterday.”
  • “Dude I legit thought I had poop on my face.”
  • “I really really don’t wanna kill myself but what’s new.”
  • “I already know what my kids are going to look like because of Pinterest.”
  • “I just can’t commit to being lesbian.”
  • “On a scale of 1-Vermont street how fucked up are you?”
  • “If Lil Yachty goes out anywhere in Lawrence, he’s going to Tonic for sure.”
  • “All the costumes I want to be for Halloween require me to have no hair.”
  • “Don’t kill that bee, haven’t you seen Charolette’s Web?”
  • “But now that I know I’m not pregnant I’m a little sad.”

 

Heard on the Hill

10.02.2017

HOTH crop

  • “No no, 59 is the letter of love.”
  • “Thanks for blowing my vape on my fucking beautiful flowers, asshole.”
  • “Hold on I need to pause this pizza porn so we can listen to the Seinfeld theme.”
  • “That bitch is a drinkerrrr.”
  • “If Kylie is pregnant does that mean it’s cool to be pregnant now?”
  • “Hang on bitch I’m trying to figure out how to finsta.””
  • “I can’t wait to get a pumpkin spice latte and tweet about it.”
  • “I mean, she’s still sweet. She just does a lot of crack.”
  • “You called me a deaf motherfucker!? I didn’t even hear that.”
  • “I hope it’s loud at Live Music Tuesday so I can just fart.”

 

Heard on the Hill

9.24.2017

HOTH crop

  • “Did you join that orgy in Wescoe this morning?”
  • “Piano is hot!”
  • “I take good drugs, but I don’t even like the good drugs.”
  • “So my bathroom smells like ACTUAL fish and seafood and I don’t know if it’s my pussy or Sydney’s.”
  • “Ah dude, it’s another straight sex scene. Can we skip it?”
  • “Mike Tyson is a pigeon cuckold.”
  • “He’s not sucking on a blunt; he’s sucking on a Bic.”
  • “The Japanese are very extra.”
  • “My high school diploma got burned in my first breakup.”
  • Person 1: “How do you fall in love in two weeks?”
    Person 2: “I don’t know, I’m fabulous.”

 

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