Heard on the Hill

9.24.2018

HOTH crop

  • “Barron Trump’s not autistic he’s just a time traveler.”
  • “I’ve had microwaves and toasters mixed up my whole life.”
  • “I’m not doing much today, just Saran wrapping a car.”
  • “I still need 17 more shots to be where I wanna be.”
  • “Yeah, I had sex in a port-a-potty.”
  • “I’m pretty sure forking is sexual.”
  • “It smells like death is coming out of me.”
  • “I have some virginities I need to take.”

 

Chicer than you think: a beginner’s guide to platform sneakers

9.19.2018

By Rebekah Swank

Gone are the days of butterfly clips, purple glitter lip gloss and gaucho pants…or are they? There’s a new trend making all of our suppressed Spice Girls dreams come true, and it’s one people pretend to hate: the “ugly” platform sneaker. You might have heard them called “Dad shoes,” “space-age trainers,” “chunky commuters,” the list of nicknames and insults goes on.

You’ve probably seen this style on Instagram more than you have in real life, and that’s because most people are terrified of these monstrously bold shoes. This trend hasn’t been adopted and embraced by Instagram famous teens and sorority girls. These shoes make a statement. They aren’t for the faint of heart. And they’re expensive AF. (I don’t know about you all, but I don’t have $895 for a pair of Balenciaga Colorblocked Washed Triple Sneakers.) That’s all valid rationale for leaving this trend behind.

However you feel about these shoes, you can’t deny their versatility. These sneakers can be paired with high-waisted mom jeans and a blazer for coffee with your pals, or a midi dress for a day at the office. The fashion world has been making a transition to more comfortable styles with the introduction of athleisure and athluxury markets, so this trend is here to stay.

If you’re looking to explore this trend or increase the number of statement pieces in your closet, here are some semi-affordable options to start your sky-high sneaker collection.

Disruptor II Premium Sneaker, $64.99

This is the perfect platform to ease you into this trend. C’mon, dip your toe in the water with some good old FILA Distributors.

 

Nike Air Max 95 SE Glitter, $170

Hello? It’s the shoes you would have killed for in second grade. They want to chat with you.

 

Thick Soled Sneakers, $69.90

Unsurprisingly, Zara is on top of this trend, handing us something stylish and inexpensive. We don’t deserve you, Z.

 

Ciara Chunky Trainers, $65

Lisa Frank meets sneakers in these metallic works of art. I have a feeling Sporty Spice would give these shoes two thumbs up.

 

ASOS DESIGN Denial Chunky Sneakers, $72

With these leopard print babies on your feet, there’s no telling how much fun you’ll have.

 

Steve Madden Current Leather Sneaker, $103

These sneakers give you the best of both worlds with a subtle print and a pop of color.

Heard on the Hill

9.16.2018

HOTH crop

  • “I’m not trying to suck your dick, I need help!”
  • “I think both sides of my brain start working when I do that and it hurts.”
  • “How did I wear cashmere?!”
  • “You are so cum-focused.”
  • “I love big noses.”
  • “Okay so you, me and Allie are the prostitutes?”
  • “Honestly if my body looked like that I’d be a mean bitch too.”
  • “Theoretically, I love operas but I just can’t get on board for this.”
  • “Should I hot-box the elevator, dude? hahahahha”
  • “Ooo man buns are hooottt!”

 

How it Feels… to be Diagnosed with Cancer

7.15.2018

Story by Brianna Childers

In spring 2017, University of Kansas student Brianna Miller, a senior from Mission Viejo, California, found out she had cancer. This is how it felt.

The day I found out I had cancer, my doctor called me an hour before my American Lit final. It was May 12. I had been having swollen lymph nodes for five months at that point.

My biopsy, which my doctor at Lawrence Memorial Hospital had sent to Mayo Clinic, showed I had stage 2 Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. The doctors wanted to get a second opinion but there was a 75 percent chance it was cancer.

I quickly texted my parents and went to go take my final. The day the doctor called a week and a half later to confirm that I had cancer I was nannying. I called my mom right after because she had already been making plans with an oncologist just in case. It didn’t really hit me for quite a while.

I had been researching Hodgkin’s and found out that a lot of times, it’s a very quick treatment and 95 percent of the patients, within the first two rounds of chemo, go into remission. In my mind, I thought “that’s not bad.’’ It’s easy to think on the better side of things when you haven’t hit the reality of it yet.

But then we went out to The Hawk that night. It was dollar night and I just got so drunk. We went back to my friend Claire’s apartment and I cried for the longest time, mostly about losing my hair.

I flew back to California three days later and I didn’t come back to school until spring semester of 2018. My first day of chemo was June 22, two days before my 21st birthday.

A lot of people don’t know things about cancer other than it’s a terrible disease. When you think terrible, you think there’s gotta be something that tells you that you have it. All I had were lymph nodes in my throat that were swollen, so I thought maybe it was a thyroid problem because I felt perfectly fine.

They popped up overnight, one on each side of my throat over my collar bone. They were the size of ping pong balls. I also had a tumor in my chest that was 10 centimeters long, which is more than a third of the size of my chest.  That means it had been growing for at least a year for it to get that big.

I had no idea, which is funny, because when you have a cold, you feel like you’re dying but you have cancer and you feel perfectly fine.

My last day of treatment was November 21. There is a 30 percent chance the cancer will reoccur. There is a chance I’ll develop breast cancer or heart disease because of chemo. There is a chance I’ll get thyroid cancer or have thyroid problems because of chemo.

I used to be a people pleaser, but after getting a cancer diagnosis, you think “shit, I need to change things around and do things that are for me.”.  The rest of my life I’ll be living with “well it could come back” or “I could get secondary cancer” so you really have to learn to live every day as your last. People say that, but it’s true for cancer patients.

Heard on the Hill

5.06.2018

HOTH crop

  • “Dora the Explorer’s not a soap opera?”
  • “Why do you need condoms when you have Yu-Gi-Oh cards?”
  • “Classes are canceled again today and my ass is extremely saved”
  • “And then it’s probably going to end with the money shot with people tasting it.”
  • “Does anyone else think this doorknob looks like the Haunted Mansion in Disneyworld?!”
  • Person 1: “Bro I’m so hyped for BLT’s today.”
    Person 2: “Bro me too! Wait, BDSM is for lunch?”
    Person 1: “No bro, BLT.”
    Person 2: “Oh… do u guys like BDSM?”
    Person 1: “Nah bro, i just like missionary.”
  • “If he wasn’t looking so desperately for something to love him, he’d be a great time.”
  • “My dad was a pipe organ major in college.”
  • “Is North Korea the country that likes anime?”
  • “I’m so pissed I could shit myself.”

 

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